Interview with Lynda Wake

Slipping into despair after her beloved teenage daughter Bethany died of brain cancer, Lynda Wake cried out to God for help. As she accepted Jesus’ invitation to journey with him through the grief and sorrow, she was able to experience how to wait well with Jesus for the glorious fulfilment of all he has promised. Waiting Well With Jesus is the resource Lynda wished she had in her deepest grief.  

Lynda Wake lives in Australia, serves with Wycliffe Australia and is a regular blogger and devotional writer for Wycliffe Today.  Lynda has spoken and ministered around the world in her role with Wycliffe and as an ambassador for CBM (Christian Blind Mission) on behalf of her daughter Bethany’s legacy.  

 Lynda, can you share a little about yourself? 

I’m an Aussie girl - born and raised in Melbourne, Australia, where I have lived most of my life on the outskirts of our bustling and multicultural city. I came to know Jesus when I was 7 years old, through the loving witness of my dear mother, and have enjoyed many decades getting to know him better. I am happily married to a very kind man named David. We first held hands on the beach at the coastal of Seaspray (our fave place on earth) 38 years ago – not knowing all the joys and sorrows, adventures and challenges God had ahead for us.   

Together with God’s wisdom and help we have raised four awesome children: James, our son, is married to Melissa, and they have made us grandparents with the arrival of precious Zahlia and Bonnie. Rachael, our second daughter, has just begun her nursing/midwifery career on the Sunshine Coast of Australia, and our youngest daughter, Nicole, is home with us finishing up university studies. All of them love the Lord and use their musical gifts to worship him. Our firstborn daughter, Bethany, passed away just shy of her 16th birthday. She went through a year-long trial with brain cancer, a heart-breaking journey, but one filled with beauty, faith, hope and love in Christ. This of course has changed the fabric of our family, but the legacy that continues to flow from her life is being redeemed by God to bless many.   

While we both felt called to cross-cultural ministry, we felt unqualified with no higher education opportunities. But in our desire to share the love of Christ, step by step we began to serve where we could in practical and pastoral ways, which eventually led us to becoming members of the worldwide Bible translation movement, Wycliffe Australia. We have served in outback Australia and in the South Pacific region. As supported missionaries, we have just celebrated 25 years of God’s faithfulness to us. Within his enabling grace, we continue to love and serve step by step. The release of Waiting Well With Jesus is part of our next adventure with him.  

Why did you decide to write Waiting Well With Jesus?  

I am not sure I decided to write Waiting Well With Jesus, but rather, I think it found me. After Bethany’s passing, I spent a year going through the journal we kept together. This resulted in a devotional book called Heartbreakingly Beautiful which was released 10 years ago.  After that process, the grief really hit and nearly paralysed me when I realised that I may need to wait for decades before being reunited with my brown-eyed beauty. Yes, I believed the promises of Jesus, but how was I supposed to live out each day for the rest of my life in emotional agony? I cried out to God and he answered: ‘Daughter, I have already told you how to live – it is in my Word – waiting for you to discover.’ So, I began searching through the Scriptures for all the ‘doing words’, with a secret hope that what I was discovering could become a comforting resource for others to share. As I began to wait well in the presence of Jesus, he taught me how to live and love again – with a wider perspective and deeper emotional well then ever before.  

Who have you written this book for? 

As much as I have written this for myself, I kept going when the writing journey became challenging because the lessons I was learning in my wait are just too precious to keep to myself. Waiting Well With Jesus is written for people of Christian faith who have experienced life-changing loss, including the loss of deep longings that are yet to be fulfilled. It is written for people who want to take Jesus at his word but are confused and hurting; those who may even feel abandoned by God in their long wait for all things to be made new, as he has promised. Over the past decade where I have been seeking to wait well with Jesus in my heartbreak, I have met people who were not doing well in their seasons of grief, and others who seemed to be flourishing after tragic circumstances. I wanted to listen to their stories and learn from these people. In turn, I longed to share the inspirational stories with others who need encouragement to work through their own grief like I still do.  

The title of this book is deeply personal for you, can you explain what this means to you? 

The more I journalled in my grief, the more I realised the depth of my own heartaches and needs. I began to see myself as a ‘lady in waiting’ – a child of God forced to wait for painful things to be resolved – yet a valuable and loved person who had a choice in the wait. I began to discover that my own wait was just a reflection of what the whole world is waiting for – like in the pains of childbirth. I began to see that although I felt very alone in this wait, we are in fact all in this wait together. Jesus has revealed the formula for how to wait well: the secret is the with-ness of Jesus – in solidarity with other children of God who are trying to live authentically through their own painful waiting seasons. 

Can you explain a little about the structure of the book and why this is so important? 

Although I formally wrote one chapter per week in the space of an entire year – in an alphabetical order because that suits my personality – the book format has been designed so that those who like to work things through step by step, like me, can do just that – or others who would love to dive anywhere into the book, and explore a topic that appeals to them, are also feel free to go through the journal that way. Either way will work as each chapter is stand alone, although a common thread binds them together.   

What do you think the devotional journal format adds to the book? 

I never wanted this to be just a book about a grieving mother that people put back on a shelf – it always had to be a resource to sit with, read and write in, and scribble all over if needed, on pages thick enough to absorb soggy tears. I am so appreciative that Authentic Media caught this vision for Waiting Well With Jesus. It was important to me to make Christ and the Bible central to the devotional journey. I also wanted to share stories of people I see as ‘inspirational waiters’ along the way. Stories matter and are the most powerful way of communicating – Jesus taught us that. There is plenty of breathing space in the journal to take notes and to engage more deeply with the Scriptures. I love that there is no rush in engaging with this book. Afterall, it is about learning the art of waiting - in the best possible way, with the best Person for company.  

There are many books about people’s experiences with bereavement, what makes Waiting Well With Jesus different? 

I think the difference is the simplicity of the book … the way bereaved people can walk very slowly through each chapter, through stories and experiences that will point them to Jesus and the Bible. The journey that readers are invited to join is deep, wide, kind, generous, patient and very spacious – giving room for God to do his glorious work in restoring broken-hearts.  

You describe this book as the resource you wish you had when you were first bereaved. Can you explain why? 

When Bethany first got sick, and then right throughout that year, we were sent a mountain load of advice from caring people, including Bible verses, personal testimonies and information about healing ministries, books to read and websites to look up, etc. While it was kindly meant, it was also totally overwhelming! During that time, if I could engage with the Scriptures at all, it was the Psalms I related to most – and the words of Jesus. What I wanted while facing the trauma was ONE thing to think about – ONE thing to do. My brain was full of sorrow and I just wanted to simplify all this good information that all came at me at once. I believe this is the beauty of Waiting Well With Jesus. It contains that plethora of comforting truth and deeply relatable stories. But those engaging with this resource can totally take their time exploring the ONE word of the week – in fact, they can make it the ‘ONE word of the month’ if they need to. Inspirational information is there to springboard from, but there is no rush to get through it. It is designed for the person/couple/family going through the trauma – so it makes a great gift book for friends and family to offer when we just don’t what to say or do to comfort our loved ones. I envisage that most people who have a copy of Waiting Well With Jesus will have been gifted it by a caring person close to them – rather than buying it for themselves in their crisis. So, yes – this is the book I wish a friend could have given me when my world imploded.  

You have had to cope with some very dark experiences. Can you give one bit of advice to help someone who might be struggling at the moment? 

I would offer this advice, along with a great big hug if I could: ‘Go gently dear one’. Sometimes we can be very kind and patient with others who are travelling through very tough experiences, but we don’t always extend the same grace to ourselves. We may have high expectations on ourselves that are often unrealistic and unsustainable. When tragedy hits, we often find ourselves caring for everyone else in the crisis – but we matter too. Waiting Well With Jesus offers some gentle space for processing our own losses well in the presence of Jesus. Then, as we experience Jesus’ co-suffering and waiting with us, the book offers hope that as we heal, God will use us to bring healing to others. Like the air stewards remind us of each time we fly: we must first put on our own oxygen masks - so that we can survive and thrive – before helping others to survive and thrive too. 

Have you learnt anything new/ been reminded afresh about your own personal journey with God while writing this book?  

Yes! All the time – through the whole process – and I am still very much learning the lessons of waiting well with Jesus. My recent lessons seem to revolve around entrusting all my joys and sorrows to the Lord – into his capable hands. I guess this includes the wonderful fruition of this book – a long-awaited dream in itself - and how he wants to use this resource around the world to bless many.  

What do you hope readers will get out of reading this book? 

Since completing Waiting Well With Jesus, the world has become even more confusing and unstable – the painful groanings of all creation more apparent. It is my hope and prayer that God will use this resource to tenderly assist with processing painful loss with a hopeful outlook – and through this process, he would be preparing his bride for the time of his coming.  I’d love to hear stories of how the book becomes instrumental in bringing the same kind of transformation God has brought me by waiting well in the presence of Jesus.  

In one sentence, how would you describe Waiting Well With Jesus?  

A gentle companion to strengthen broken-hearted people who are waiting for the fulness of Jesus’ presence and promises.  

Is there anything we can pray for you? 

Thank you for this kindness. My family and I need prayer to continue to grow in our ‘waiting well skills’, especially when another layer of loss is exposed, and the grief hits hard. I’d also love prayer as I continue to learn, journal, research and write. Jesus has placed another journal on my heart as a follow up to Waiting Well With Jesus, and I want to be faithful to his calling.